My Aunt

After all this years, I still miss my aunt. Her memory still stays fresh in me but remembering her, still caused me great pain. I've never talk to anyone about it, mainly because I am afraid it will upset the person I talk to. Anyway, no one will understand how I feel.

My aunt checked-in to a private hospital to remove a growth in her womb. We were informed, it was nothing serious. It was just like any other ordinary operation. When we visited her after her operation, instead of seeing happy faces, the people around her look glum. I noticed my cousin had tears in her eyes.

When we were informed that the growth might be cancerous - we were all lost for words. We were not prepared to hear this.

She passed away in less than a month after the operation. Some people said, it is also 'good' that she leave due to her complications and sufferings. I agree 50-50 on this.

It is always said, when a person leave us - the person only leave us physically but not our memory ... but just think of the agony of losing someone so close. She is just my aunt and her death still makes me shed tears till today. What about her children then? I am sure, they felt worst. I always think ... she is not old.... she is still young. So, how'd come God took her from us? Yeah, I know it is not the matter of age but why her?

The most painful memory of her was when I saw her gasping for breath and when she was shivering from cold, even though it wasn't at all cold.

I still remember clearly, everytime we visited her in the hospital - I did not look at her. I will just sit at the corner and pretend 'this is not happening'. When she talked to me, I will talk cheerfully to her - as if everything is normal. I was living in a make-believe world.

It sounds funny, how my aunt's death can affect me so much - maybe because I am just too emotional in person. I sometimes hated this.

Death ends a life, not a relationship

-Jack Lemmon